The Night Before Christmas - SPS Version 

'Twas the night before Christmas, I lay in my bed
My body in spasm with muscles of lead;
My pills in their vials were put up with care,
In hopes that St. SPS would not be there;

My spouse was nestled all snug in our bed,
While I crept to my valium with feelings of dread;
My foot caught a snag as I clung to the wall,
Looking for handholds to avoid a great fall,

When inside my body there arose such a clatter,
I fell to the floor knowing what was the matter.
Away to the cupboard I made a mad dash,
Tore open the vial and swallowed my stash.   

The bruise, on the bump, of my newest uh-oh
Gave the current round's win to my SPS foe,
When, what to my swelling eye should appear,
But my gruesome reflection in the hallway mirror.

With SPS humor, so lively and quick,
I compared this moment with jolly St. Nick.
SPS symptoms, to my mind they all came,
And I giggled and laughed while I called them by name;   

Now, BASHER! now, BOUNCER! now, TROUNCER and TRIPPER!
On, CRASHER! on STOMPER! on, BLUNDER and FLIPPER!
From the stop of my legs! to the creep of my crawl!
Now bash away! smash away! crash away - fall!"   

I slipped back in bed, gave my spouse an embrace,
As my symptoms were subdued by valium's chase.
I thought to myself as I closed my eyes tight,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!" 

© DAR

<bgsound src="images/2FrontTeeth.mid">

Playing: All I want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth 

Page created December 2007